Legacy

Hello, my name is Paddy O’Toole.  For a living I work for the Irish Government as a maintenance worker and Head Caretaker of the Shamrock National Forest here in good old Ireland; God bless her sod.

 

I have a tale to tell; yes I’m at the local tavern and have had a few glasses of fine Irish whiskey.  I’m not feeling any pain.  But as we Irish do, we like to tell our tales to the boys at the tavern.  I may be a bit tipsy, but I’m perfectly coherent enough to tell me tale.

 

During the off season the higher ups decided the Blarney Stone which is one of the parks main attraction, should be elevated off the cold, cold ground and placed on a nice Marble Base with a nice bronze plaque that says “Blarney Stone”

 

I didn’t object to the idea even though it would probably be the death of me poor old back.  So one fine morning about a week ago I procured the marble base and took it to the site of the Blarney Stone.  Yes that’s right, me myself and me poor old back, with no help at all from anyone.

 

Of course I took a nip or two to ease the pain of me poor old back.  The to follow instructions I took me pinch bar and went to roll  the Blarney Stone back so I could scotch the marble base in place.

 

I was mighty surprised and taken back when instead of rolling back the Blarney Stone just popped up like a lid. It was hinged.  Imagine that, I couldn’t so I took a couple of more nips to help me focus.  Well now I could see better.  Faith and Begorra what was I looking at?  It was a nice round hole about twenty inches across with a wee little ladder going down to somewhere.

I could see a wee glimmer of light quite way down it seemed.

 

Well that called for a couple more nips.  I sat down and pondered to me self what could that be.  It was obvious that anyone more than eighteen inches tall could not fit and negotiate the ladder.

 

I couldn’t quite grasp things at this point so I took a couple of more nips to clear me mind.  That helped a lot.  I concluded to me self that it must be the front door to the lair of The Little People, you know, Leprechauns.  With that realization that all the old tales must me true, I took out me Rosary and said fifty Hail Mary’s, and took a couple of more nips.

 

Now, me not wanting to be one to offend the Little People, I was in a pickle, I couldn’t disobey me orders nor follow them either.  I needed advice.  I couldn’t ask for help from Father Murphy with this kind of tale, he’d call the men in white coats with a net.  Now we Irish can hold our liquor very well, and crazy I was not.  So I took a couple of more nips to help me think.  I then came up with the brilliant idea of explaining me predicament to the Little People.  I wrote a quick note of explanation and signed it, your friend Paddy. I dropped the note in the hole and went home for the evening, after closing the hatch first.  I’m also prudent.

 

Well early the next morning I went back to the Blarney Stone and found a wee envelope with a note in it.  The writing was small and I had to put on me glasses and have a couple of nips to read it.  It said “Dear Paddy, we understand completely, thank you for the heads up.  Do not worry yourself farther we will take it from here and finish the job for you in a fashion that also works for us“.

 

By the way Paddy here is a little thank you from us. Yours truly,Timothy.

 

Well faith and begorra you could have knocked me over with a feather and almost cause me to swear off.  But not quite.  It was a gold coin, rather large and appeared to be from the Roman era of occupancy.  That made it very old and rare.

 

Of course I forgot to mention the Gold coin in relating this tale to the boys at the tavern.  But for those who want to know, it financed me a very early retirement, paid for a fine cottage, and the quality and quantity of me liquor has improved also.

 

In closing, I want to say one last thing.  This tale is true and I swear on me last bottle that not one bit of its Blarney, well at least some of it isn’t.

 

Your friend Paddy