Legacy

It seems times have changed but not the habits of two to three years old.  Left to their own devices they can find interesting ways to get into trouble. Anyway, hello readers my name is Gary, last name with held to protect the guilty.

When I was about three (I’m now 44) I remember my mother taking  me to Pellitier’s Department Store in Topeka, Kansas.  It was a marvelous place to very young eyes, so full of wonders.  It had a basement.  There were a very wide set of stairs to it with a shiny brass railing in the center.  I don’t remember what they sold down there, it might have been the same as today, and maybe not.  I guess that’s irrelevant isn’t it?

Anyway, it was in a ten story building, the top six floors of which were offices for Dentists, Doctors, and other whatever’s.  It sat on a corner.  The other four stories of the store could be accessed by stairs or for the weak of leg, elevators that served the entire building.  The mezzanine level was a big kid magnet and one of the reasons mothers liked to shop there.  It made the kids happy.  In a somewhat isolated corner of the mezzanine sat the kid attraction.

It consisted of a vibrating horse a kid could ride for a nickel.  But best was the mini zoo.  One never new from one week to the next what would be on display, so kids would ask mommy to shop frequently.  No problem because we all know mommies like to do that. There was a brightly colored mouthy parrot who had learned to many cute things from kids no doubt.  Then there was the big old monkey, always interesting, and an occasional bear or raccoon, or fox and once even a tiger in the big cage.

Of course as a three year old I found other additional ways to have fun when mommy wasn’t looking.  I especially liked to get in between the double sided racks of ladies dresses and when a lady started looking, poke my head out and holler boo!  My mother wasn’t pleased, I’m not sure she even wanted anyone to know I was with her.  I didn’t understand what the problem was exactly, but she told me I’d caused some ladies to say bad words and made a couple of them wet their pants.

That may be why I was put into a child’s harness and kept on a short leash.  I remember I did not like that.  But apparently that was a fashionable solution in those days.

Anyway, I grew up got married and moved to another city a couple of states to the East.  Then one summer we came back to Topeka, my wife and I to visit some relatives and old friends.  It was a time of nostalgic remembrances and as we went to the downtown area to see what had changed we noted however the old Pellitiers Store was still there.  I said to my wife, wow some institutions hang on for ever, I wonder if it’s the same inside.

She said she needed to do a little shopping anyway, so we would go in and then she laughed and said “I suppose mommies little boy is going up to the mezzanine and look at the critters.”   I said that’s not funny, and it is like old home week so I’ll see you at the front door in about an hour.

I got up there and stepped off the elevator because I’m no fan of stairs.  Sure enough the mini zoo was still there.  Same old raunchy parrot.  I understand parrots live a long time.  The monkey cage no longer held the big old lazy monkey, but contained about a dozen very active but smaller, Capuchin monkeys.

The big cage which had frequent changes in what was in it; today was displaying a Giant Tapir, about a 500 pounder.  At first glance they look like a huge pig; but in fact aren’t even related to pigs.  The elephant family maybe.  I don’t remember seventh grade Zoology all that well.

The cage security was very primitive. No electronic locks or even padlocks.  That is why before I could get over my shock of seeing and wanting to say no, no little boy; a three year old spotted the drop pins in the lock hasps and pulled then in the blink of an eye.

Instant pandemonium, monkeys everywhere and moving out fast; parrot heading for parts unknown.  Actually the monkeys are of the friendly type, but curious.  I could hear women in the adjoining beauty parlor and other places starting to scream bloody murder. But the worst was that poor Giant Tapir.  Now Tapirs are vegetarian, will not attack, but will run like the dickens when frightened.  This one was no exception.  He was like the proverbial bull in the China Shop.  He was in a panic knocking stuff over as he went.

Like I said, he’s not vicious, but he’s scared and could knock you down or trample on you to get away.  Good to give him a wide berth.  Poor thing found the stairs and half ran down, half fell down them.  Ladies were going off everywhere as the pandemonium spread from floor to floor downward mostly.

I thought I better check on my wife for safety’s sake.  I found her two floors down having climbed on top of a counter when she saw the Tapir coming.  Smart lady I thought, she was very happy to see me, but not too amused by the grin on my face.  I knew I’d hear much about that later.  But for now we just both thought it would be a good thing to exit the store.

By then the Tapir had found his way to the first floor and was wreaking havoc everywhere.  I said well once he finds the basement he will probably total it and then get rounded up.

It didn’t work that way, just as I held the front door for my wife and she went out, before I could follow here came the Tapir, right out the door I was holding open.  Now it was pandemonium on the street.  Now in Topeka the next block was noted for mini store front churches that would come and go as congregation grew and could afford to build.

Sure enough that big old 500 pound Tapir took a sudden left turn through a propped open door  of a store front Mosque.  Persons of the Muslim persuasion poured out like bees from a hive.  It was apparent that they thought they’d just been desecrated by the grand daddy pig of all time.

Needless to say they were greatly relieved to discover the Tapir was not in the pig family.  Goes’ to show that maybe the idea of a kid harness with a short leash was a good idea that should have stayed around and remained a fashionable solution.