Legacy

Tim and Shaun O’Hara were sons of the old sod; they came to America to make a better life for themselves. Yes, that’s right, they themselves by sheer determination, and with a little help from the pot of gold they stole from a Leprechaun who vowed revenge. It had been a long boat trip.  But that gave them time between nips that is to discuss what they would do in America.

They decided that they would raise fine Irish Horses. Tim had asked Shaun just what was an Irish horse, and Shaun replied, if it’s a fine horse then obviously its Irish.  Tim said I’ll drink to that.  And he did, he himself, hardly leaving any for poor old Shaun.

They set up shop in rural Kentucky, heart of the fine horse country and fine Irish Bluegrass.  Shaun was the one with the question this time, and it was what makes that Bluegrass Irish Bluegrass?  Tim replied, its fine is it not, therefore it must be Irish.

They secured a sizable horse raising facility that happened to be for sale at just the right time.  Shaun said to Tim, my, wasn’t that lucky.  Tim said, a bit but what else could you expect, we have the luck of the Irish.

They decided they should give their horse raising facility a proper name to reflect the honor of the old sod.  After many hours of frustrating discussion, both Tim and Shaun agreed to call it the Republican Horse Farm.  Both Tim and Shaun had been members of the Irish Republican Army.  An organizatio0n whose goal was to get England out of Ireland.  Got a little bloody from time to time it did.   But they were proud of having made their contribution to the effort.

They worked very hard and made a success out of the horse business.  They also studied very hard in order to pass the tests for becoming citizens.  They were successful in that effort, they were.

Now having become Irish Americans with honest values from the old sod, they set about to become good typical citizens.  They would vote as they now had the privilege and they considered it an honor and duty.  Of course since the word Republican carried much weight in their eyes from their Irish experiences on the old sod, they assumed that the Republican party in America was the right way to go.

Whenever they had the chance they would lead rallies and do all they could to promote any Republican candidate.  Once a fellow who had a few more nips than Tim and Shaun had, normally impossible, asked why in the name of Saint Patrick they were so fired up Republicans.  Because it’s simply the right thing to be they said.  Why we are so solidly Republican we don’t even have a donkey on our horse farm.  Aye said Tim and if one ever came around we would put him to hard labor and not allow him to socialize with or use the same barn as our fine Irish Horses.

As it turned out the heavy nipper asking the stupid questions was also from the old sod, he obviously was a British sympathizer and as unfit to be a true Irishman as a Non Republican for holding an office. Curse of the Banshee be upon you they said.  Of course in the morning none of them even remembered having a conversation.  They did remember having a hangover so mighty that they almost swore off, but not quite, they had some hair of the dog that bit them to get going again.

It was a few weeks later when the candidates for the office of County Sheriff were announced.  One of the candidates was a fine Scotsman by the name of Shamus McDougal, the Republican candidate to be sure.  The other candidate was Paddy O’Toole, whom Tim and Shaun recognized as that British sympathizer from the old sod; a disgrace to Ireland as they saw it.

Well, election day came and it was a close race, but Shamus won by nine votes.  Shamus was of course quite pleased, and Tm and Shaun were overjoyed.  After the celebration Tim said to Shaun it’s a good thing all of us O’Hara’s voted.  Shaun said all, but there’s only two of us.  Tim said, no Shaun, there was nine of us, me you, Molly,  Colleen, Kathleen, Peter, Michael, Sampson, and Cogsworth.  Shaun said, you have to be kidding., those are our horses and our dog.  It’s a wonder you didn’t register the colt also.  Tim said he would have, but the colt was too young to vote.

Shaun said Tim, wait a minute I need a nip; two nips later Shaun continued, he said horses can’t vote.  Tim said sure they can, I knew what their choice would be so I voted in their behalf at seven more different precincts.  Shaun just shook his head in disbelief.

About that time they heard a snicker, followed by a rousing laugh.  It came from some one in the bushes beside their porch.  Oh me sainted mother Tim thought, the cat is out of the bag and me myself is revealed, oh woe is me oh woe is me. And Tim took a huge nip.  Then the source of the laughter revealed him self and said, save a swallow for me my boy o.  Tim and Shaun’s eyes about popped out of their head; it was that Leprechaun they had stolen the pot of gold from.  He was there for his revenge no doubt.

Well that was a correct assumption; however much to Tim and Shaun’s mutual surprise the mischievous Leprechaun was so impressed by Tim’s extra voting scheme that he said Tim was an Irishman after his own ornery heart.  He said that it gave him such joy that he would soften his revenge to a simple requirement.  That being not only returning his pot of Gold, but adding another one to it.  Tim and Shaun thought that better than having the Leprechaun put the Curse of a Banshee on them.  Only one small problem;  they explained to the Leprechaun whose name was Knuckles the Piper, that they no longer even had his pot of Gold, that they had converted it to American Greenbacks and spent it all.

Now Knuckles didn’t like hearing that at all and his face grew red with indignation; he finally after a few nips, he  his self, blurted out what are greenbacks?  Tim said, tis the coin of the realm here in America.  If you have Gold you can sell it for a lot of Greenbacks, or if you have a lot of Greenbacks, you can buy a lot of Gold.  Knuckles said, strange, but I understand what you are saying.  So get some greenbacks and buy me my gold, or else.

Now Tim and Shaun didn’t want anything to do with the “or else”.  They said they could mortgage the horse farm for enough to but one pot of gold, but not two.  Knuckles said, one pot won’t do, so you best find a way.  Tim said to knuckles, can you use magic.  Knuckles said I’m a Leprechaun aren’t I?  That question being answered Tim made Knuckles a deal.  He told Knuckles they would mortgage the Horse Farm to raise the price of one pot of Gold, and then bet that amount on a ten to one horse at the next race.

All Knuckles had to do was use magic to make that horse win.  If he did that the prize money would buy ten pots of gold and they would split it with Knuckles.  Tim emphasized that would buy Knuckles the Gold he demanded and three extra pots besides.  Knuckles liked that idea and agreed.  Shaun gave Tim the stink eye and said that wouldn’t be honest.  Tim said, well it was you that stole the Leprechauns Gold in the first place, was that honest?  Shaun said it wasn’t the same thing; but after quite a few nips, Shaun had a new understanding and agreed it was a fine idea.

Well the bet was made and the money won.  Everything divided up, and Knuckles used his share to buy the five Pots of Gold.  Tim said, wouldn’t it have been simpler to take a check and cash it back in Ireland.  Shaun and Knuckles began to laugh hysterically they did, both of them that is.  Shaun said, now Tim, can you picture a Leprechaun walking into a bank to cash a check.

Tim got the idea and had to laugh at him self and then he had a few nips to help him get over his embarrassment.  Then Shaun said, seriously Knuckles, you can barely lift one pot of Gold, how will you ever handle five?  Knuckles said, not a problem watch this.  Knuckles took off his tall green hat and reached inside it a pulled out a wee fiddle.  He then began to play a fine Irish tune which he also danced a Irish Jig to.  He uttered a few choice words in ancient Galic and the Gold vanished in a puff of smoke.  Tim and Shaun just stood there slack jawed, but finally got enough composure to take a bracing nip and say what was that?

Knuckles said he’d just used magic to send it all to his lair back in the old sod.  He then bowed low, said goodbye and good fortune and Knuckles also vanished in a puff of smoke.  Tim and Shaun figured he’d followed after his Gold.  They then both vowed never to rob a Leprechaun again, gets to complicated.  Also figured they never find another one anyway, especially in America.